"If I Don't Like, I Don't Like, That Don't Mean That I'm Hatin…”

So, whatever happened to constructive criticism? It seems that in the world we live in, particularly the African American community, accountability for our words and actions has been vanquished with the usage of one all-encompassing phrase, “Don’t hate”. 

In modern society, nobody wants to be called a “hater”.  Of all the kinds of persons one could be, a hater clearly has to be the worst. Imagine that! A myriad of insults have been hurled since the beginning of time, but the thing that people fear being called most is a “hater”.  There’s something laughable about that to me.

So where did this term come from and how did it enter into the collective psyche of modern pop culture? Well, if I’m not mistaken, the phrase “playa hater” was first introduced by Bay-area rapper E-40 in the mid-90s. E-40 said it was a term already used heavily in Northern California to identify anyone with an extreme unwarranted dislike for a prosperous person, or “playa”.  This “hatin” is usually fueled by some form of envy or jealousy.  Over the years, this term was exported from Cali and appeared in rap lyrics and the everyday language of people across the country. Eventually the first half of the term was dropped leaving us with the modern version—“hater”.

The problem I see with this phrase is it’s given people a convenient excuse to provide whenever someone challenges opinions, performance, words, etc.  In fact, it has completely rid us as a society of the responsibility to adequately defend our positions or perform any self-reflection, because when all else fails, we can always just accuse someone of “hatin”.   

We’ve fallen in love with our perceived haters to the point we dedicate our every thought and actions to them. We wear shirts that pay homage to them (ex: I love my haters), create catch phrases about them (ex: don’t hate congratulate), and even make mention of them in our tweets and facebook statuses.  We are utterly flattered and overcome by the thought of someone making it their business to plot our demise.  Unfortunately, for most, this is not even the issue.  This is a fabricated reality brought about by the rejection of anyone who says anything contrary to what we perceive as right—even if the criticism is legitimate.  So that if a person tells us we have great potential in a certain area but need some tweaking or could improve in another department, we can easily make them and their commentary magically disappear by saying, “don’t hate!” It’s just that simple. Poof! Presto! Vamoose!  It’s like a credit card with a never ending limit! Accepted everywhere for everything!  It beats the old way of paying “cash” and earning things the old-fashioned way. 

Now whenever you’re posed with a challenge, just use the “hate card” and “charge it to the game”. 

The problem with this scenario is whether we know it or not, we are not escaping our responsibilities.  On the contrary, much like that credit card, we will pay for it later.  When we leave our communities and enter a world unamused by our excuses we will regret all the times we didn’t listen to constructive criticism. We will relive those moments we didn’t think-through or develop critical thinking skills, when life throws us challenges and proves to be less forgiving then others.  As opposite to the phrase as it may sound, many of the very people who we feel are pulling us down actually care enough about us to tell us the truth, even if it hurts.  So, before you give into the temptation to use the “hate card”, consider the words of legendary emcee Common, “If I don’t like it, I don’t like it. That don’t mean that I’m hatin”.

-Judah